The “distracted boyfriend” meme gets reversed. Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock
Andrew Gotzis, a Manhattan psychiatrist having a considerable psychotherapy practice, is dealing with a right few, whom we’ll call Jane and John, for a long time. They will have sex around three times a which might strike many as enviable, considering that john and jane—who are in their 40s—have been together for nearly two decades week. According to numbers alone, one may wonder why they require partners counseling after all.
But just one of these is satisfied with the continuing state of play. Which isn’t Jane.
“The issue is not too they have been functionally not able to have intercourse, or even to have orgasms. Or frequency. It’s that the sex they’re having is not what she desires,” Gotzis explained in a current phone discussion. And like many right women he sees, “she’s confused and demoralized by it. She believes there’s something amiss along with her.” John, meanwhile, feels inadequate and criticized. Mostly he can’t understand just why, if their spouse is making love with him and achieving sexual climaxes, she desires more. Or various.
Despite “fears of seeming intercourse addicted, unfaithful, or whorish” (Gotzis does not such as these terms, nonetheless they talk to his patient’s anxieties, he explained), Jane has attempted to inform John, in outside and therapy from it, what she’s after. Continue reading