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For Queer Ladies, What Matters as Losing Your Virginity?

For Queer Ladies, What Matters as Losing Your Virginity?

When I installed with some body, I snuck up out of bed and in to the darkness of my balcony, alone. a stressed wreck, we texted my buddy, practically hyperventilating as a result of one thing I’d never likely to be worried about at all.

Longing for a remedy, we texted: have always been we nevertheless a virgin if I experienced intercourse with a lady?

My buddy asked the things I thought, but i must say i didn’t understand. The woman I’d slept with defined intercourse as penetration, therefore by her definition, we hadn’t had sex. She, due to the fact older, long-time queer when you look at the hookup, had the hand that is upper. I did son’t think it had been up to me personally. Most likely, just just what did i am aware in regards to the guidelines of girl-on-girl intercourse, aside from what truly matters as losing your virginity? Can it be intercourse only if half for the social people involved thought it had been?

If you ask me, it felt enjoy it had to be intercourse, because or even intercourse, the thing that was it?

It had been a panic We never anticipated to feel. I happened to be super open-minded. I became feminist that is super. I will are beyond delighted and empowered because of the proven fact that I’d had an optimistic intimate encounter. But rather of cuddling the lady I became resting with and basking within our post-sex glow, or also vocalizing my worry over whether or not we’d just had sex, I happened to be panicking in solitude.

My identification has long been a biracial that is blur—i’m bisexual, and queer—and it is a thing that makes me feel murky, not sure of who i will be. Virginity was simply the latest thing to freak down about. We endured at nighttime alone and tried to determine, once more, simple tips to determine myself.

I needed, desperately, to understand in the event that intercourse I happened to be having “counted.” And I’m maybe maybe not the only person. Continue reading